Crap Happens: Tales of a Retired Corporate Overachiever

How do some people retire with no plans beyond golf or simply not having to work? I mean, really—what do they do all day? This sailing life is too perfect for a retiree, especially someone like me who spent decades juggling corporate chaos. And let me tell you, sailing isn’t just lounging on a deck with a drink in hand—it keeps me moving, thinking, problem-solving. Trust me, I know my brain isn’t firing on all cylinders like it used to.

Back in the day, I was managing mergers, people, finances, ERP systems, and product launches—all while jetting between meetings, trade shows, and site visits. Now? I’m over here struggling to remember why I walked into a room. And sure, some of that slowdown is from my MOG antibody disease (thanks, brain lesions), but let’s be real—if you don’t use it, you lose it.

So why am I thinking about all this today? Well, because my day has officially gone to crap.

(Side note on the word "crap"—that was Donna’s favorite word. "Awh crap!" was her go-to. It’s actually how Jake knew something was wrong when she collapsed in the kitchen 14 years ago. He told me later that he heard a crash, but no "awh crap," so he knew something was wrong. He ran in and found her on the floor. Crazy how certain words just stick with you, huh?)

And when a day goes to crap, I try to find a positive spin. And here it is: wouldn’t life be boring if everything just worked smoothly? Embrace the chaos. Appreciate the struggle. They remind me to value being busy as the slow days sitting and do nothing drive me crazy!

It’s like relationships—those little quirks that sometimes drive you nuts? You’d miss them if they were gone. And honestly, it's those quirks that make a person them. It’s the same with my lifestyle—yeah, it’s got its headaches, but it sure as hell beats sitting around watching reruns of The Fall Guy!

So What Went to Crap Today?

1. Medical Issues:
   My treatment pump is broken. Why? Because last time, my meds leaked into the system and turned it into a sticky mess. Now the pump is jammed, and because of tamper-proof screws, I can’t crack it open to fix it. So now I have to figure out how to get a replacement shipped, except:
   a.) I don’t know how long I’ll be in North Carolina (was supposed to leave yesterday, but… you’ll see why).
   b.) I don’t know if they can even legally ship the pump across state lines. Because, you know, drug laws. They may consider this spring-loaded pump as a “drug.”

2. Boat Upgrade Nightmares:
   Almost done! Which means this is when everything starts turning to crap. Thankfully, I don’t have to fix it—I just have to sit back, remind myself I’m paying nearly $50K for this, and resist the urge to scream into the ocean.

• They can’t figure out why one of my fancy Arco “Zeus” battery controllers isn’t working. The port side is fine, but the starboard side? Dead. They swapped parts around, checked the wiring, found a bad ground connection—still nothing. Looks like the engine itself is the issue. Fun.

• My bow thruster? Also dead. They removed a 120V charger and replaced it with a DC/DC charger, and now something’s not hooked up right. So I’ve got a floating condo with no steering assist. Fantastic.

• Went to cook last night—no propane. Safety circuit is on, tank’s full, but no gas is flowing. So now I’m on a boat with no way to cook. Anyone up for a raw food diet?

• The new chart plotter? Not downloading charts. I’ve got two 12” B&G Zeus plotters in the cockpit, and for some reason, the charts won’t load on my new 9” display inside. Because why should a navigation system… navigate?

3. Scheduling Snafus:

• Supposed to be in Annapolis Monday for solar panel installation—now that’s being delayed.

• Need to time the work being done w/ the marina they will do it at. Two separate companies, the marina and the fabricator.

• Need to reschedule the work I planned to be done while in Annapolis on my starboard heat/AC unit. It stopped blowing hot air in the winter when the bay water got too cold.

• Oh, and the best part—I had a date lined up with Lei! 🤪 Yeah, that Lei—the 46-year-old Chinese gal (yes, I said gal—because I remember how “Old Lisa” hated when I said chick). Turns out, she finds me interesting and funny—which means she clearly hasn’t spent enough time with me yet. Was to be an all day date showing her Annapolis and Ohana.

The Takeaway?

With all this chaos, I had two choices:

1. Stress out and lose my mind….and get drunk.

2. Embrace the madness, enjoy being busy, and remind myself that the Big Man Upstairs only gives me what I can handle.

So, I took my own advice—the same advice I used to give Jake when he got stressed out. I remembered one of Mom’s favorite songs: Three Little Birds by Bob Marley.

"Don’t worry… about a thing… ‘Cause every little thing… gonna be alright."

And you know what? It will be.